As of Now…

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Mother Theresa

I *heart* <3 the library. August 1, 2008

Filed under: Just Me spillin' my guts — lookingforward73 @ 11:32 pm

A renewed sense of wonder at the public library. It’s amazing. You can walk in empty handed, no wallet even with money or ID, and you can walk out with an armful of books. Can you tell anything about a person by the books they check out of the library? Ummm…. they’re for a friend…. ūüėČ

‘The Complete Book of RAW Food’
‘Feeding the Hungry Heart’
‘The Fitness Factor’
‘Breaking the Vicious Cycle’
‘The Antidepressant Solution’


Not bad July 31, 2008

Filed under: Just Me spillin' my guts — lookingforward73 @ 5:26 am

But still a junkie. I’m gonna need to come to terms with this somehow. I’ve realized that I go through periods of using food for something. What thing? I’m not sure. But I need to figure it out. I knew surgery wouldn’t fix my head. It did fix it that I couldn’t indulge my pleasures with such great abandon. And for that I am grateful. But I know that my pouch restriction will not last forever. So that leaves me with dealing with this shit. I have to deal with it and not just rely on my pouch size to keep me in line. I didn’t weight today at all. I don’t plan to tomorrow. Weighing everyday has not been a problem in the past, but right now I feel like I need a break from the scale. So, we’ll see when I get back on. I’m setting some new pedometer goals too. I’ve been wearing it, but slacking off on actual workouts.

Todays eats:

Coffee with ff creamer
the delicious blueberry concoction below
beans and chicken
protein shake with banana and PB2
out to dinner – chicken salad – ate half
other half of salad
water and crystal light


UGH July 30, 2008

Filed under: Just Me spillin' my guts — lookingforward73 @ 4:41 am

Such an ugh ugh ugh-ly day. It’s 10:30 pm and I feel yucky, disgusting, bloated, and fail-urish. Why? There are many reasons. I ate too much today. It started out ok – I had my morning coffee with creamer. Then for breakfast two mini quiches and some mandarin oranges. We were going to the kitchen to work for a few hours. So I decided I’d better eat before I go. I dug out the south beach pizza that was in the freezer. First time I’d had one of those. Definately not worth the hype and expense and anything else. Just blah. I ate half. Went off to work in the kitchen with my bottle of water. Half way through I decided I needed a coffee. So I went to the coffee place and got myself a sugar free, iced, latte. Sipped it till I got home. Also, had a few bites of gluten free pizza crust. Decided on a high protein meal of two turkey meatballs with a string cheese melted over top. One of my biggest problems with not drinking while eating is being left with the ‘food’ taste in my mouth after finishing. So I had a bag of south beach dark chocolate soy nuts. I should have stopped there. I didn’t. I had a no sugar added ice cream bar. Then I thought – uh oh. I’m in trouble. Went to lay down, then took a trip to the toilet (not throwing up) – fell asleep. Got up and sipped on my latte from earlier. Figured I would make some beans and turkey for dinner. Tim came home with a pizza. Took a small piece and decided to eat the cheese and toppings off the top. Then decided on the crust too. Then I was left with the ‘food’ taste again – so I swigged a couple ozs of crystal light. I made the beans and chicken for a later dinner tonight. I am a junkie. A food junkie. And surgery does not cure you of your addiction. Granted, pre-op the binge would have involved much more food. But apparently I am still able to binge. This is not good. It’s down right shameful. I can just picture what some people would say. All the – ‘I can’t believe you were able to eat all of that!’, ‘I would NEVEr be able to eat that!’, ‘what are you doing eating like that after surgery?’. It’s the end of the day and I need to be done with the guilt, shame, overeating, and self loathing.

So what was good about today???

* I recognize I have a problem.
* I’m honest about it.
* Tomorrow is a fresh start.

Not a great list of good huh? oh well.


Vegetable purees July 25, 2008

Filed under: Just Me spillin' my guts — lookingforward73 @ 8:44 am

I was still pre-op when the book ‘Deceptively Delicious’ by Jessica Seinfeld came out. ¬†I picked it up and became enthralled with all the fun recipes that involved pureed veggies. ¬†One of the first recipes I tried were the spinach brownies. ¬†LOVED them! ¬†And you totally couldn’t tell that there were pureed spinach and carrots mixed in.

After surgery I started to think once again about the veg purees. ¬†Why not? ¬†What a great way to add in some vegetable vitamins, fiber, and nutrients without the bulk that us post ops can’t do. ¬†Guess what?? ¬†I made a new version of spinach brownies – this time without white flour or sugar and with an extra punch of protein. ¬†Stay tuned……


My bike July 24, 2008

Filed under: Just Me spillin' my guts — lookingforward73 @ 6:11 pm

A pink Electra townie. ¬†I love it. ¬†It’s cute, comfy, and easy to ride. ¬†And sometimes I even attach the trailer to it to haul around the kid and his dog. ¬†Michelle – maybe you could haul around some protein ice cream samples to the neighbors???


Breathing life back into this blog June 29, 2008

Filed under: Just Me spillin' my guts — lookingforward73 @ 9:09 am

I am now 12 weeks post op. I have recovered great and have had no problems. Adjusting to this new lifestyle has been the biggest focus. The first picture is several months before surgery and the second is this week. Since last summer I have lost 54 lbs.

Photo 14Photo 67

I am going to use this blog to share recipes, meal ideas, and general info (based on my limited knowledge) of my experience with RNY gastric bypass surgery. stay tuned!


Encouraged!! July 27, 2007

Filed under: Just Me spillin' my guts — lookingforward73 @ 2:50 pm

Ok, so I went to the appt I made for the 6 month diet plan. It was with Dave from Indian Creek family medical. Same place that Tim , Will, and Russell have been seen. Autumn has not yet needed a dr. Anyhow, when I called to make the appt, Dave was the one they said I should see. Funny guy, really nice dr, and genuinely seems interested in patient care. He didn’t give me any grief on why I would want the surgery. He said that by this point he trusted that I knew what I wanted and had researched it enough to make my own descision. Whew. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was fully prepared to look for another dr if this one was going to give me a hard time. So basically I showed him the insurance papers that said what I needed to get approval. I thought he might give me some written diet plan and extensive program. Nope. He pretty much said we will do what we need to do to make the insurance company happy. He knows that I’ve been on diet after diet. He knows that I’ve struggled with this for a long time. He’s not going to make me do anything drastic or strict. We talked about maintaining and gaining health in preparation for the surgery. He wants me to walk on the treadmill and build some lean muscle mass. Eat healthy and basically get my body in the best health I can so I will be ready for surgery. I need to weigh myself once a week and then once a month check in with him and give him those numbers. He is also referring me to a nutritionist so as to cover that as far as the insurance goes. Just covering all our bases. Also, next week I am going to do a fasting blood draw to get suger, lipid, thyroid, and all that stuff checked and charted. So – moral of todays post is I feel good. I feel good about what I have to do and I’m no longer discouraged. I am going to use the next 6 months to prep myself to get the best outcome for the surgery. Oh, and I am going to learn to quilt! woohoo! After my appt I went next door to the quilt store and signed up for a beginners class that starts in september. See – all kinds of stuff to keep me busy!